Why Ignoring Your Obstacles Can Keep You Stuck

Why Planning for Obstacles Creates More Success Than Pretending They Don’t Exist.

There’s a powerful practice in manifestation culture: focus on what you want. Hold the vision. Stay aligned with your desire.

And there’s real truth in this.

Vision matters. Clarity matters. Holding the frequency of what you’re moving toward absolutely creates momentum.

But there’s something equally powerful that often gets left out:

Planning for the obstacles that will show up along the way — not because they’re problems, but because they’re part of the path.

When we only focus on the desired outcome and refuse to acknowledge potential obstacles, we miss an opportunity. We’re not preparing for the fullness of the journey. And when those obstacles inevitably appear — because they will — we’re more likely to interpret them as failure instead of recognizing them as the exact growth points we need.

Contrast isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong.

It’s how wholeness works.

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Wholeness Includes Contrast

Nature shows us this everywhere.

There is day and night. Feminine and masculine. Life and death. Health and illness. Hunger and fullness. Inhale and exhale. Rest and activity. Expansion and contraction.

Ease and struggle aren’t opposites to be avoided — they’re part of the complete experience.

Carl Jung taught that wholeness comes from integrating what we resist, not denying it exists. He called this shadow work — integrating the parts of ourselves and our experience we’d rather deny. Not because they define us, but because acknowledging them allows us to move through them with more clarity and power.

When we expect only ease, we’re not being optimistic. We’re leaving ourselves unprepared for the moments that will actually grow us.

The invitation isn’t to focus on what could go wrong.

It’s to see the full picture — and trust that you can navigate all of it.

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What Gets Left Out

Here’s what I’ve noticed — both in my own journey and with clients:

When you hold a vision but don’t plan for the obstacles you know tend to show up, something happens when they appear:

You fall back into old patterns.

You procrastinate. You doubt yourself. You assume it means you’re off track.

And then you tell yourself it shouldn’t be this hard. You shouldn’t feel this resistance. The block shouldn’t be there.

But here’s the truth: what we resist, persists — a core principle in Jungian psychology and one that shows up again and again in real life.

The obstacle isn’t the problem. The belief that it shouldn’t exist is.

And this isn’t about being negative or preparing for the worst. It’s about preparing to meet the fullness of your growth — with clarity, regulation, and trust in your highest self.

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Obstacles Are Stepping Stones — And That’s Worth Celebrating

What if obstacles aren’t proof you’re failing?

What if they’re confirmation that you’re growing?

In The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday explores the Stoic principle that the obstacle isn’t something blocking your path — it is the path. Every block holds wisdom. Every moment of resistance is showing you something — about your patterns, your nervous system, your beliefs, or the next level of capacity you’re building.

When you bring the obstacle into your vision instead of pretending it won’t be there, you stop being surprised by it. You stop interpreting it as failure.

You start seeing it as part of the journey — and you celebrate your ability to navigate it.

This is where real power lives.

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What This Looks Like in Practice

For a long time, rejection — whether in dating, friendships, or business — would send me spiraling. I’d take it personally, blame myself, and if I was honest, I’d sometimes chase or try to convince the other person they were wrong.

I knew this pattern came from anxious attachment, but knowing it and shifting it are two different things.

And I didn’t want to swing to the opposite extreme — becoming avoidant or immediately detaching. I wanted to find the secure middle ground.

Over the past few years, I’ve been practicing a different response. I started by honouring my own need to recognize when a relationship wasn’t working for me — and giving myself permission to make that choice without guilt or over-explaining.

And something shifted.

When I learned to honour my own autonomy in those decisions, I was able to start visualizing myself respecting another person’s autonomy to do the same. I practiced staying grounded when someone said “this doesn’t feel right for me” — and not making them wrong for it.

I’d sit with the discomfort of imagining someone saying those words to me, and I’d rehearse staying regulated, honouring their choice, and not making it mean something was wrong with me.

I brought the obstacle into my vision instead of pretending it wouldn’t show up.

And it’s working.

I’ve had multiple experiences now — in dating, in friendships — where someone has told me it didn’t feel aligned for them. Instead of spiraling, I’ve learned to get curious first — to name what I’m noticing and see if there’s openness to work through it. But if the door feels closed, I honour that without pushing or making it mean something about my worth. I give myself space to process with support, and I move forward with clarity.

The old pattern doesn’t take over anymore. I navigate these moments differently.

I’ve also been on the other side — choosing to end connections that no longer felt right for me. And understanding both experiences has helped me see that these moments aren’t about rejection. They’re about honouring what’s true.

That shift feels like freedom. It’s proof that the work I’ve been doing is real — and that’s worth celebrating.

There’s a saying I love: rejection is redirection. And I’ve found this to be true. When someone chooses to step away from a connection, it’s not a statement about my worth or theirs — it’s both of us moving toward the relationships that are actually meant for us. The ones where we both feel aligned, where there’s mutual choice, where it flows.

That’s the shift I’m talking about — and it didn’t happen by ignoring the obstacle or willing it away. It happened because I planned for it.

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How to Work With Your Obstacles (From an Empowered Place)

This isn’t about focusing on what could go wrong or becoming hypervigilant about problems.

It’s about shining a light on the blocks that already exist — the ones you know are there — and planning for how your highest self will navigate them.

This is part of what I mean by optimizing time rather than maximizing it (something I wrote about in my previous blog post). When you maximize, you try to willpower your way through obstacles. When you optimize, you expect them — and plan for them. You work with reality, not against it.

Here’s how:

1. Name the obstacle clearly — with compassion

What block do you know tends to show up for you?

Is it self-doubt when you’re about to be visible? Procrastination before a big decision? The urge to retreat when things start working?

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about seeing what’s true — so you can meet it with clarity instead of being caught off guard.

2. Bring it into your vision

This is where the magic happens.

Instead of visualizing only the outcome, visualize the moment the obstacle appears — and see your highest self, your true essence, navigating it with ease.

What does that version of you do? How do they respond? What do they choose in that moment?

You’re not manifesting the obstacle. You’re preparing to meet it from your most grounded, capable self.

3. Rehearse the moment — and celebrate the practice

Visualization isn’t just about seeing what you want. It’s about practicing the version of you that can handle what comes.

When you rehearse how your highest self moves through the block, you’re preparing your nervous system to respond differently when it shows up.

This isn’t about forcing yourself through the block with mental toughness. It’s about letting your nervous system experience what it feels like to stay regulated when the obstacle appears — so it doesn’t hijack you in real time.

You’re building capacity. You’re expanding. You’re growing into the version of you that can hold more.

For example: You want to launch your offer, but you know visibility triggers self-doubt. If you only visualize the successful launch and don’t rehearse how you’ll handle the self-doubt when it shows up, you’re more likely to freeze or pull back the moment it surfaces. But if you’ve already practiced staying grounded through that self-doubt — already visualized your highest self choosing to move forward anyway — your nervous system recognizes the moment. You don’t fall apart. You navigate it.

And that’s worth celebrating.

4. See the block as information and growth

When the obstacle appears in real time, you’ll recognize it. You’ll have already seen it. Already practiced.

And instead of thinking this shouldn’t be happening, you’ll be able to ask:

What is this showing me? What am I learning here? How is my highest self moving through this?

That shift changes everything.

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The Gift in the Block

Obstacles aren’t random.

They show up at the exact edges of your growth — right before the expansion you’re reaching for.

When you plan for them, you’re not being negative. You’re being intentional. You’re honouring the fullness of your journey.

You’re saying: I know contrast is part of wholeness. I know growth includes challenge. And I’m celebrating my ability to meet it from my highest self instead of my old patterns.

That’s not pessimism.

That’s integration. That’s empowerment. That’s celebration.

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Working With Your Blocks — Together

This approach — mapping where you are, where you’re headed, and the blocks that will show up along the way — is what I guide clients through in my coaching containers.

We don’t pretend the obstacles won’t be there. We shine a light on them. We bring them into your vision. And we celebrate your ability to work through them as stepping stones, not setbacks.

Because when you learn how to navigate the block from your highest self, you stop falling back into old patterns. You start building real momentum.

This is the intersection of vision and reality. Strategy and embodiment. Manifestation and nervous system work.

It’s what allows you to be both optimistic about where you’re going and realistic about what you’ll encounter along the way — and to celebrate both as part of your wholeness.

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Moving Forward — With the Full Picture

You don’t have to pretend obstacles won’t be there.

You don’t have to only focus on the light and ignore the shadow.

Jung understood that wholeness means integrating both — seeing the full picture and celebrating your capacity to navigate all of it.

The block isn’t proof you’re off track.

It’s the stepping stone to what you want — and it’s worthy of your attention, your preparation, and your celebration.

When you stop resisting the obstacle and start planning for it, you stop being derailed by it.

You start moving through it with clarity, regulation, and trust.

And that’s where real momentum lives.